If we want we are all quite intelligent and skilled enough in telling people what they want to hear from us in order to impress them. It could happen in many areas of our lives, and especially we use this “skill” during the job interview process, when the goal is to get the offer(s), and then maybe think how this job, this company is aligned with what I like and what I want to do. We are even taught “to fake it till you make it”… As we want to be the best version of Ourselves in front of potential employer. And that was my experience as well some time ago.

But are we really that Best version of Ourselves in those circumstances?

The scenario could be the following: you could go through all rounds of interview, get the offer(s), negotiate good salary, sign the contract, and start the job. If it is really your dream job – BINGO, you will be happy and fulfilled everyday by doing the things you are really passionate about. And if you accepted the offer not because it is something that drives you, but because that was the only option for that moment, or only salary was good enough, or only the location was convenient, etc., - at this moment some of your values will be stepped on. Then you would need to continue gaining the approval from your manager, other colleagues, to make them happy. In the end people might like you for that, but what is the price?

Without realising it, while urgently seeking for approval, we forget what we want and what does it mean to be our true selves. And if you are a high achiever, you might feel overwhelmed, getting lost in your thoughts about your challenges, overworking, avoiding making time for yourself, and constantly finding yourself unable to say no.

During coaching sessions people find it difficult to answer very simple question: “what do YOU want?” And it could be a good topic for one hour discussion with the client, but sometimes it takes several sessions in a row to get some clarity to answer this straightforward question.